DeStruCtiOn~

 

Once,within me there were full of  infected wounded till there's no more space for another cut.And i never hope for another cut now🤗

Livin' in a hectic weeks,one after another really made me worn out.In additional,there's really a thing that triggered my "inner health" especially about that incident..yup..because of that trivia matter (it's seems small matter for you but really a grave matter to me)I'm started to breakin',loosing my interest in doin' things i loved, anxiety,slept for the whole day cz i felt totally flat ,loosing my appetite,eating disorder occured,not interested in having more conversations (but I'm still going for work),at times either i had a nightmare or insomnia.My mind already exhausted and yeah I'm literally tired.Its not about work but it's about others perception and on how people's impression towards me.I'm not saying that I'm paranoid but as my psychologist said the trauma still grew in me.But i will not let this happened to me as i already chose to love myself again❤️ and I'm not gonna let anythin' hurts me even i know the damaged can't be repaired but I'll give it a shot.I'm very sorry for those who can't reached me these few days as i put my phone on silent.Only my work phone in used and to Uncle T,I'm already rename your "name"😁

The loss within damn hell 3 months of destruction.My total lost was a TRUST and people JUDGEMENTAL till these day.How you  gonna FIX IT?You can't!😎

For those who requested for this quote,come..take it❄️I'm not so in love with lovey dovey stuff but i can share with you a quotes😉

The one who never failed to cx on me,TQ Uncle❤️

ReNaMe~

Did i missed anything🤔?What's event on 8th?I didn't scroll much in Facebook nor Instagram 🙄

Few hours passed when he tried to reached me out,sorry Uncle T🤭

As he requested to "sensored" his new name if i did post the screenshot 😂 I didn't stick with my phone if I'm doing my work but once it's with me I'll reply immediately 🤭

Today i felt quite funny and laughed AF upon the text came from Uncle T.He did mentioned about why I'd saved his contact as my own name ( now i knew that he is particular about contacts🤪) for me personally,i had no issue with that at all since that was my phone anyways and i have right to save whatsoever name it is as i wished.🤣And first of for most my thought was "who else will read my blogs except my own loyal readers"which is eventually i never knew that Uncle T will read my blog as well🤣 I just don't wanna any suspicious grew on my parents'mind (maybe they will though my BF,cz frequently gave me a call and i doesn't want my parents knew what is the heck actual had happened) Luckily i never speaking ill about Uncle T in my blog,or else I'm gonna be a dead meat😅except the truth infact on every single ."story",regardless it's mine or i bought from others.He just wondering why recently i did attached a picture together with the event occured.Well,it's kind of a picture story 🤗 compared to my previous blogs,it's all about "living stories"❤️Well guys I'm not in my homeland since Saturday🤗 cz i'm still working on my teaching hours on my another favorite city😉 (currently my based)which is previously i need to completed my teaching hours in one private school in my former favorite city eventually,but things happened not as per plan and yeah I'm still moving forward though.Luckily in this city my tagging had a few hours break so,i can catch up with my own school back in my homeland🤗 Overall,all i need to do is manage my time wisely cz I'm very particular about time management.So as suggested by Uncle T,i did met the lawyer yesterday and I'll see how it goes(He was truly speechless 🤐when  I said I had a psychiatric record due to depression, anxiety and PTSD..) since my former lawyer Dorris aka Ms Chua (Uncle T's best friend's daughter) no longer handling my case.I knew she is dissapointed and upset with me and yeah i knew the feeling.All i can said "I LET YOU DOWN and I'M VERY SORRY..i knew i didn't heed her advise at at first place thus there is no turning back for me,but trust me i do have my own reason to do so......

Me : How about if others said I'm insane?

Mr G : Never mind,let it be

My manager : Why?

Mr G : Others maybe said she is insane right?

Me : Yeah

Mr G : But they forgot something,her lawyer is not insane😎

My manager : Yeah🤭

*Suddenly heard a thugs' s life soundtrack*

I'm packing up my stuff and will returned back to my homeland on Thursday🤗❤️The coverage was not too good so,i couldn't upload more pics🙄

I went back to my studio apartment quite late cz I'm late for my psychologist appointment.There was a security guard inside the lift as i went inside,I'm literally tired.I'm not pretty sure what nationality he is,i seems can guessed it right given by his English conversation 🤪

Him : Where floor ma'am?

Me : 32

Him : You stay alone?

Me : Mhmm

Him : From where?

Me : Clinic

Him : I go to 32 floor also,datuk ask me to see

Me: I see

Him : Maam,all stay in 32 floor is datuk-datuk one

Me : I see (to my understanding he meant all the units belongs to that particular Datuk

Him : Who datuk support you?

Me : SORRY!!??

Him : You are so beautiful ma'am,who datuk with you,ayoo he sure happy one (cunning smile)

Me : *Killing stare and looked at his name tag*

Him : Already here,come together and he tried to hold my hand

Me : No,thanks.I need to go downstairs again!

( I straight away go to my agent's office cz i rent under them.I lodge  a complaint about him of being rude.A while later my agent asked him to go to the office and apologize to me and I'm straight away request to changed from tower A to tower B).Of course I'm scared AF,i call my manager to come and help me to packed my things cz I'm afraid he might followed me.I did cried AF as well as i called my parents and my sister.So ladies,to be someone who afford to have everything you don't have to be "kept"by a big shot guy,just remembered "there's no free lunch in this world".All you need to do is work hard and earned!!

 

Before i met that chap,I'm waiting for the lift🙄luckily i wore just a flat shoes..if i put on my high heels i swear I'll step on his foot and kicked his "ball"😡

A typical blueprint teacher❤️

Mi Casa❤️Sejadah left in previous unit,so I'm just used the towel as sejadah.Oh my D.I.Y idea🤪

ThiNk aNd ThiNg~

I wrote about this and i did this long ago☑️

 Few days ago i went for shops some groceries and mirror.And i found such a beautiful quotes on it.Maybe you can't read it clearly but i did read it through ❤️

I chose to love myself again❤️

I get a tones of questions asking me about  the differences between the feeling of hatred and dissapointed at someone.Its simple,let's us put it this way😊To my personal view,when you hates someone of course you will do stalking on them,no matter from what medium it is.It can be by social media, telecommunication or asking someone else about that particular person indirectly in order to know how they are doing...did i hits the nail???🤣😈For  genuine toxic people of course they don't wanna hear anything good or best about you as they wanna witnessed your downfall before their eyes.And they will repeatedly mentioned about you in social media  and they will hardly trying to show off as well.Its really pathetic isn't?😊Well,as for feeling dissapointed is truly opposite from that.Meaning to say for what i had done,i'm just deleted that particular person phone number and who ever related with that person instead of blocking them.You know why??it's is because once you blocked someone you still can see their "face" from your blocked contact list🤭To me for a total cut off we might just have it deleted since " no more contact " was that person's request anyways 😊And yeah for sure i never stalked on them either and i swear i never did that,but still hoping for the best in their life without my presence.That was how i protect myself and  the ❤️ that  i care from getting hurts,yeah it's still hurts tho..but it's okay time will heal🤗

TiNy BLAcK DoT~

What a hectic day!I'm sorry for those who can't reached me out by a phone call cz i'm really busy.I'll try to returned your call ASAP🤭 Actually I'm more prefer if you guys drop me an email or text (i'm able to explain more in details with certain references)instead of a phone call (cz i received a tones of calls everyday 🤣 and ran out of my batt most of the time)BTW,I'm happy to hear from you guys and I'm pleased to assist you❤️ Yesterday i get a text which is i'm quite clueless🥴

.

I would like to show you guys something on my perception on others and how i look through it intensively.

What you can see from this pic?

Well,I know most of you will said "a tiny black dot" Do i hits the nail??😉Do you understand what i'm trying to say?Let me get you a clear picture of it❤️I posted a pic of a large white surface with a tiny black dot there.And most of us will pin pointed to that very tiny black dot instead of a large space of white within it.You know why??thats how we labeled the specific person.The black dot represents his/her mistake and flaws while the white surface represents on how much he/she already did for us🤗This can be apply to everything and everyone.So,your perception on others will changed❤️No matter how hurts you are or how much hatred you had for that person,just remembered..he/she also did a lots for us too,so please disregard his/her flaws or mistake❤️❤️

P/S : I don't hates you cz you used to be my source of happiness but i'm just literally dissapointed with your attitude

LiTtLe PaRcEL~

Repost BWAB : "Exclusively brought to you for what i had done from this very alien city before off to another favorite city,met my lawyer and our legal advisor.Spot the difference between lawyer and legal advisor,can you?😉I'm not someone who very new to this alien city but just recently exposed to the beautiful of the nature within the city.Its amazed me and the excitement has just begun.Oh ya,BTW...i think it's not necessary to tell more about SAH (stay at home) periode cz there's nothing to share at all🤪For those whose interested in homeschooling materials (I'm not selling cz it's exclusively for private and individual learning) or anything regarding to a child behavior or education, don't be hesitate to approach me❤️i would love to assist"

My daily meals🥴 Diet??Naah🤪

I'm my own sunrise,sunset,rainbow&universe

Benefits of  the wide shawl,can be a purdah too🤣

While waitin' for the departure 🤗

Every child deserved a better education&teacher❤️

WoRkCiTy~

Repost FYBB:Sometimes plan are just meant to be planned.As a current moment in the middle of pandemic outbreak,i never planned to be in my long lost favorite city (I do missed everything that i had done before)  i have  to be here for the sake of my educational team and i had a dateline to catch,OMG🤪As we know not everything  just can be done by "online" but on a certain case,it has to be done by "hands on"and "to be in the field" especially everything that related to a practice life and sensory. Furthermore i have to do the inspection and the audit as well.Gonna be tired and busy AF cz needs to hold multiple task at one go🥴cz agaaaaaaaain i I have to "monitor "my school from my fingertips 😴I'm glad cz there's nothing serious that holds my steps plus I'm really count myself lucky as my former unit was still vacant as the new tenant will move in next month(Thank you Mr Andy!!)So,i can be in the same unit again❤️but you guys just able to see the basic of my unit as all the goods are already been sent away🤣I ran to my neighbour earlier and she can't recognized me at all as she said I'm totally looks different🧐She said i looks very fair, thin, and jovial.And I'm just pulling her leg by told her that I'm "bleaching" my skin and when she asked where all my tummy and fats went to??i said they are already R.I.P,both of us laughed AF🤣She loves my new hair which is  dark and light brown blonde in colour,she said suites me very well .I wanna see who dare to used my pic again😑(BTW I'm just did a hair rebonding, cutting a bit of it and i noticed the colour suites me very much ❤️,it's still henna based anyways)😉When her husband said why i looks so radiant and more cheerful (they knew my depression moment 🤭 but doesn't knew the main caused of my state) he said is that they will get a good news from me in terms of marriage 🥴i said it's good to be true but sadly it's wasn't and I'm apparently single in this world but my name already taken in the other world🤭You know what he said??It's really unbelievable for a  fine, independent and beautiful  lady like me is single and been dumped🤣I said when people asked me about my status I'll said I'M TAKEN...and yess i did it for real🤭When I'm taken I'll said I'M TAKEN and when I'm single I'm still said I'M TAKEN🤣🤗Dumped or kept  is actually on his choice even he did said to me give him some time to fixed the things he fucked and won't leave me  still its doesn't give me a feeling of secured and guarantee and i doesn't want give him a pressure as well.Still,i never BEG  for his love cz i only took his promised  with me  and i excuse myself  from his life😉At least i used to have his full attention on me eg :i he is not stick with his phone or playing games  when we talked😉When everything was done,rest assured..i'll proceed accordingly on grave matter that bring me into a sorry plight and my parents deserved an official apologized from that particular person.Thus,never fucked up with people's life merely for fun cz you never know what damaged you had done to that particular person.I marked every word i made❤️sorry won't bring someone future or pride back in track but forgiveness was the best thing to do.We must responsible for whatever we did.

When i left for work❤️

When I'm home  ❤️

My teachers asked me what a nice perfume i put on when i do my inspection on their schools materials  cz they love the smell❤️❤️BTW I'm using BLACK OPIUM by YSL ladies❤️ I no longer used the same perfume that i used to put on before❤️